Sallyblog

mountain in may

2009-06-04T22:25:00.002-04:00

my apartment in various stages of becoming

2009-05-10T13:46:00.003-04:00

Okay, here are the photos of my new place.

The outside. My comfy bed (I spared you the closet, but it's a good one.) My dining area and current workspace. The partially furnished living room that looks kind of pathetic right now. The attic that is going to become my office as soon as I get a desk and get organized... and possibly paint. Ideally, in the next couple of weeks...

transitioning...

2009-04-23T21:42:00.004-04:00

Moving is tiring. And I've finally done it.

My apartment is the first floor and attic of a remodeled bungalow. It's small, has all the amenities like a fireplace, great closet and brand new kitchen. It's pretty close to a park, light-filled, and suits me just fine for now. More photos to come.

I'm waiting on furniture. But when I get some, I want visitors!

who will appreciate this?

2009-04-23T21:38:00.002-04:00

Found this lovely article in the NYT this week. I was obsessed with Walker Evans in college and beyond. Back when I was doing a whole lot more photography than I've done lately. His photography so speaks to me. I no longer have any of those books I collected, but still have the sensibility... somehow, it's never brought me to Alabama, though.

how's this for a horoscope?

2009-03-31T20:58:00.001-04:00

I read today:

You are still focused intently on one aspect of your life -- maybe your career, maybe your relationship. You can sense that you are 'almost there' in terms of a resolution. But perhaps it's time to pull back and widen your scope. You are capable of using your energy on a plurality of issues, so you don't have to just stick to one thing. You can achieve successes in many areas, you know! Don't sell yourself short or limit yourself to small thinking when you have such a big brain.

Well, as a backhanded compliment, I'll take it. But I have been really trying at this "monotasking" thing.

cheers!

2009-03-18T21:05:00.002-04:00

Raising my glass with a toast that Mary sent me a few weeks ago on my birthday.

Toast of 1675
Love and wine are the bonds that fasten us all
The world, but for these,to confusion would fall
Were it not for the pleasures of love and good wine
Mankind, for each trifle their life would resign;
They'd not value dull life nor could live without thinking
Nor would kings rule the world but for love and good drinking

snow play...

2009-02-18T19:43:00.003-05:00

shadow and light

2009-02-18T19:40:00.000-05:00

Phenomena are preceded by the heart,
ruled by the heart,
made of the heart.
If you speak or act
with a corrupted heart,
then suffering follows you —
as the wheel of the cart,
the track of the ox
that pulls it.

Phenomena are preceded by the heart,
ruled by the heart,
made of the heart.
If you speak or act
with a calm, bright heart,
then happiness follows you,
like a shadow
that never leaves.

- Dhammapada

a little coffee wisdom

2009-01-20T12:05:00.007-05:00

I ran out to get a latte this morning since my coffee cupboard was bare. On the Starbucks cup, it said this:

The irony of commitment is that it is deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of the internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

These are the words of Anne Morriss, customer and relentless American citizen.

And this:

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us all strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

These are the words of President Abraham Lincoln.

(Now, if only Starbucks could compete with Peet's when it comes to making a great cup of coffee...)

I'm getting serious here, people

2009-01-20T00:04:00.003-05:00

OK, these aren't my 12 goals... but I am so in on this one .

The culmination of my past few weeks ... and the four hours I spent at Borders on Sunday (not intentionally, I was sucked in and there was coffee.)

blast from summers past, vol. 2 (in rough draft)

2009-01-19T17:04:00.004-05:00

The forest is brown, green
dry
crackles beneath our boots.
Pine needles hide the earth.
We move forward easily,
propelled by words and feet.
Sometimes we grow silent.

“It’s beautiful,” is all I say at the marsh.

We navigate wet ground
carefully. playfully.
stepping to twig, rock, log
here, a jump over water.

We watch each other’s feet for instructions
smiling at the bullfrogs
looking out over the beaver pond
in sun, this oasis in the midst of forest.

Reluctantly we leave the moist ground
and retreat into crackly cool.
dry wood.
pulled uphill.
back. to life.

blast from summers past, vol. 1

2009-01-19T17:00:00.000-05:00

Pump House

A craftsman’s hands made a chapel out of

the old pump house

It’s here I bathe,

standing,

water running rivulets down

my thighs,

soap smoothes over breasts

weighted down by weight loss

round mound of stomach

muscles loose

water dripping from my hair

long around a broken shoulder.

I stand in the stream

like a baptism

in this old chapel

made modern by women’s hands.

I run mine over my skin

clean, tired, thinking of hands there

before mine

erased by soap, water, time

skin born anew in the chapel

where I run Minnesota water

across my newfound face.

last one, can't resist

2009-01-16T20:11:00.004-05:00

It was so good to spend time with my friends over the holiday break. Unfortunately, most of the time I forgot to bring my camera along. And I am still trying to figure out how to get those Chihuly exhibit photos out of my phone!

winter break

2009-01-16T19:39:00.002-05:00

thanksgiving sorry

2009-01-16T18:41:00.004-05:00

I was in San Francisco for Thanksgiving (yes, I know this was months ago). And managed to get in the family tradition of the Sorry game. And wondered why I am always drinking wine when I play this game? I actually lost this time. And actually, the last time I played in Portland with Susan and Dylan, I also lost. Hmmm.

It was a fun trip just the same. And next time I am in town I'll get to see Karin & Ladda, too! Making sure of that.

p.s. Did I mention I ate some turkey this year? Shhhh.

say what you will...

2009-01-13T18:30:00.002-05:00

...but there are good reasons why I am a Starbucks fan. Example one being the free Vanilla Rooibos tea latte that I'm drinking right now. Unsweetened. Tasty.

How can you not like a place that announces they are now giving out free lattes?

And just when I was about to get up and buy something since I've been here working for two and a half hours...

sun + patience = carrots

2009-01-13T18:15:00.003-05:00

Joseph Goldstein was one of the first teachers I ever sat with at the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, probably close to 10 years ago now. And, as someone in my current community reminded me in an email today, in his book Insight Meditation, he wrote:

Munindra-ji is used to say that in spiritual practice, time is not a factor. Practice cannot be measured in time, so let go of the whole notion of when and how long. The practice is a process unfolding, and it unfolds in its own time. It is like the flowers that grow in the spring. Do you pull them up to make them grow faster? I once tried to do that with carrots in my first garden when I was eight years old. It does not work. We do not need any particular length of time for this process of letting things be.

I needed to hear this. Because it really applies to business, too. And to finding a new place to live. To pretty much all things. Sounds deep, but it's so incredibly simple.

And of course, the SUN came out today! The barista at Starbucks tells me it's a metaphor. I believe him.

new year's eve storm

2009-01-08T16:02:00.004-05:00

Well, I have no photos of the worst winter storms to hit Portland in 50 years. I was too busy trying to get out of the city. I wish I'd had a little more calm enjoyment. But no. Portland looked like Boston. And when I arrived in Boston, it looked like Portland. Gray and rainy. But finally, it snowed. I did not pack my winter boots for nothing.

thoughts for the new year

2009-01-08T15:51:00.002-05:00

Man, it has been far too long since I have been posting anything here.

I have lots of photos to post and there were a bunch of holidays in which I was running around the country. Seems funny to recap too much so late, but why not.

While home in Massachusetts I found a notebook from my last retreat at Lutsen and some of the very little writing I did after that summer. I have read through all of it during various evening baths... and some of it is even good. Most of it is very raw and sometimes that is good for writing. I may even pick up on it this year. (Yes, you read right. I may start writing again. Don't tell anyone.)

Since getting back to Portland, I've also been focused on getting myself organized, planning my new year, jump starting the search for where I will live next. So when I saw this poem on Andrea Lee's coaching blog today, it really hit home with me.

What To Remember When Waking
by David Whyte

In that first
hardly noticed
moment
in which you wake,
coming back
to this life
from the other
more secret,
moveable
and frighteningly
honest
world
where everything
began,
there is a small
opening
into the day
which closes
the moment
you begin
your plans.

What you can plan
is too small
for you to live.

What you can live
wholeheartedly
will make plans
enough
for the vitality
hidden in your sleep.

To be human
is to become visible
while carrying
what is hidden
as a gift to others.

To remember
the other world
in this world
is to live in your
true inheritance.

You are not
a troubled guest
on this earth,
you are not
an accident
amidst other accidents
you were invited
from another and greater
night
than the one
from which
you have just emerged.

Now, looking through
the slanting light
of the morning
window toward
the mountain
presence
of everything
that can be,
what urgency
calls you to your
one love? What shape
waits in the seed
of you to grow
and spread
its branches
against a future sky?

Is it waiting
in the fertile sea?
In the trees
beyond the house?
In the life
you can imagine
for yourself?
In the open
and lovely
white page
on the waiting desk?

words for lunch

2008-12-08T18:17:00.000-05:00

If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself, then what am I?
And if not now, when? - Hillel

excellent advice from Oscar Wilde

2008-12-03T18:16:00.000-05:00

"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde

baring it for barre

2008-12-01T23:04:00.003-05:00

I just got back from my holiday trip to San Francisco. More later on this and maybe even photos.

Right now I am downloading photos that have been stuck in my new camera pending card reader arrival. And I'm catching up on email. Just finished getting some groceries into the house so I can eat tomorrow.

And I am finding this article that Tom sent from the Boston Globe to be really funny. Even funnier was the note asking if I know any of these guys.

These firefighters are some dedicated public servants. I know this personally-- or at least I know they are good at their volunteer job. :-) And there is all the time I have spent visiting Woods over the years. It is my favorite small town library ever. But I may still owe them a fine. I should get on that.

living in the top 3

2008-11-21T15:47:00.002-05:00

Was just reading my AEC industry updates and came across this February 2008 article on America's green cities.

I already knew about Portland's rep. But Boston? That one surprised me a bit. So, now I've lived in two of the top 3 without even knowing it, and if I could stomach the cost of living would have tried the other, too.

I like this Boston idea of using autumn leaves to generate power. Now that would have been so handy out in Barre, where the leaves were plentiful and the power always going out!

create your community

2008-11-19T16:16:00.005-05:00

I have cribbed this from Tarra's e-news... primarily because reading it is a good reminder to me of what works and what is needed. I think it's really relevant right now. At least for me.

Hopi Elder Speaks: We are the Ones We’ve Been Waiting For

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

And there are things to be considered:

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

life is short, play more

2008-11-12T23:09:00.001-05:00

feeling the wake

2008-11-12T15:37:00.004-05:00

Each of us can take responsibility for the state of being with which we travel through the world. In every interpersonal encounter our energies affect those around us. When we connect kindly, generously and
compassionately with others and offer no threat they have an increase of endorphins and feel better.

The opposite is also true.

Our practice allows us to leave a wake that has more wisdom, love, compassion, joy and happiness. Every action of mind, speech and thought has its karmic effect. We practice for the benefit of all beings.

Robert Beatty, who teaches at the meditation center where I have been sitting, wrote this yesterday and it reminded me of something. Over the summer, I went to an odd little lecture by NW Trackers. I thought--as did the other folks sitting by me-- that it was going to be a naturalist lecture about birds and how you hear them in the forest and what their language means.

But it was not. It was really about mindfulness and conscious awareness, using the ability to hear birds as an example.

I was a little disappointed to get a dharma talk versus a naturalist talk, but it was still interesting. And here it is again. One of the things he talked about that night was "leaving a wake" as we go into quiet natural areas... how we tend to disturb everything with our loud conversations and fast movements. And what would happen if we were aware of this and went gently into the woods once in a while. What would we notice?

Interesting to think of leaving a wake behind us in daily life...

man, am I tired

2008-11-11T23:24:00.003-05:00

I know I haven't had much to say... the recap is as follows:

1. Yes, I am beyond excited that we have a new president and that I helped get this done, in whatever teeny-tiny part. I drank champagne and celebrated with new friends on that night. Unlike New Years, no one got kissed (well, I didn't, anyway). My friends, I am quite sure, are beyond excited that I have stopped campaigning for Barack at dinner, over breakfast, via email, in seemingly innocent phone conversations, etc.

2. I am outwardly determined not to admit that I have been affected at all by the virus that has had both my house mates in a bad way for weeks. Neither of them really believes me, but I think it's actually working. ;-)

3. I believe that everything is all going to work out according to plan. Really. That makes me think I should start planning.

4. I have had some great fun lately... concerts, comedy, way too much good food, long talks with great minds, museums... And I think I am in love with simple flowers.

5. Wish I could get into an old routine... like perhaps one that involved yoga at 6 a.m. like I used to do. Yoga at 8:3o is not the same thing.

6. I could write a book on my home search ups and downs, but instead I have decided I will be zen about it if it kills me. It just might, but I expect folks to hold me to this one. Everyone reading this is included. Take your vows now. Please.

smile, people!

2008-11-04T01:43:00.002-05:00

Why is it that everyone is so SERIOUS, lately? Maybe we all need to go and play some more?

I'm taking my own advice. On Sunday, I dug up some company and went to the science museum and watched an Omnimax film, played with brainteasers, picked up fossils and meteorites and watched myself digitally age (OK, I admit that maybe that last part was not as fun as the others).

Even my current projects feel like fun lately. More of this has got to be a good thing.

vote

2008-11-01T22:20:00.003-04:00

It's almost election day and I've already voted.

There is something weird about the whole thing, too.

I voted early. Last week, sometime. I know it happens in 30 states now, but to me, it's new. Though there is something kind of fun about watching all the news when you've already made your decision. But then, I made my decision sometime last winter, didn't I?

And I am grateful that I can now vote in my living room, with a fire going and reading the voter packet over a glass of wine. That beats standing in those 5 hour lines I've seen on television. But I am not sure I'm down with entrusting my ballot to the United States Postal Service. How do I know it really arrived? I should have requested delivery confirmation.

There's something I miss about going to the polls in the early morning cold or in the dark, after work, standing in line at the senior center and chatting with the senator who lived down the street from me. Walking up to the elderly folks manning the table and moving through their carefully organized route of tables and voting machines and ballot counters and more tables.

They say change is good.

married to amazement

2008-10-26T23:32:00.002-04:00

I finally managed to get my butt over to the cushions at Portland Insight tonight for the Sunday sitting and dharma talk.

It has been a while. Today was a gloriously beautiful fall day in Portland. And I spent most of it outdoors, then inspired, stopped laundry midstream to make it over there just as they were starting. It felt important to sit.

Oddly, I saw two videos there that I'd seen as part of another talk there over the summer. Both are commercials and funny. Both illustrate the point of tonight's talk... being that our life is finite and living it right now makes a lot more sense than being afraid of it or sleepwalking through it. It is also in flux, always changing. And the wisdom of checking in with our bodies in the moment... let's all stop living in our heads so much and trying to anticipate everything. What's happening right now? Let's get curious about THAT.

And then a quick left turn into astronomy as we noted the perspective of our everyday irritations as compared with the size of the planet as compared with the size of Jupiter, the Sun, other larger suns across the Universe.

In other words, not so critical. Across the universe, indeed.

(And yes, I realized he was talking to me... I get it.)

Best part. At the end of the evening, these words from Cape Cod's Mary Oliver, one of my favorite poets, from the poem "When Death Comes:"

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

the art of being zen

2008-10-23T19:37:00.004-04:00

"Without concern for results, perform the necessary action;
surrendering all attachments, accomplish life's highest good."

So says the Bhagavad Gita, as quoted in one of my favorite books, Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates. Every now and then, I open this book up to a page and read what's there. (The book has 365 essays on yoga and life, one for each day of the year.) Today's essay started with the quote above and then asked: Once we are under way, how do we proceed?

The point of the essay being that when we succeed, it's because we aren't thinking about failing. We aren't attached to the outcome.

Oddly, this is what the mortgage broker said to me last week, too. That insisting on being self-employed and starting up a business in the current economy means I'll need to be zen about whether I can get financing to buy a cheap house or condo. Because she can no longer give me any answers until I find one and take my chances.

In the past few weeks, I've found a house, mulled over whether to make an offer on the house, made an offer on the house, didn't get the house. Same thing with a large work project... was offered the project, mulled over ways to make the project work for all parties, decided to go forward, lost the project (through no fault of my own). And then my loan approval disappeared in the smoke of the so-called credit crisis.

So being zen is my option. Letting go of the results and moving ahead with the actions and trusting it all to come out in the wash. Rolf is onto something when he writes: We are doing the thing because we love the thing itself. We are in the moment without thought of the next moment... See if letting go makes more sense when you are not defined by the results of your actions.

It all sounds so simple when you put it that way.

wahoo! I made a fire!

2008-10-09T20:54:00.007-04:00

Now there's something you don't hear me say everyday, hmmm?

I am right now sitting in front of a crackling fire that I made myself. It has been going for, like 10 minutes now. Which is a record. So I am highly optimistic here, but even if it goes out, I have already achieved a personal best. I don't think I'll ever understand why they are hard to build and yet happen easily and spontaneously when you don't want them to.

It's cold and rainy (yes, I know, it's October in Portland) and I'm watching the economic news while just finishing up my work afternoon. And Susan the master fire builder is not home. And I have a warm fire and a warm chocolate mate.

The thing is, I did not do anything different than I normally do when I try to build fires and fail miserably.

Maybe this is the reminder that YES, I really DO want a fireplace in whatever place I end up finding, whether it is "green" or not (fine, I will burn java logs if I have to). Or maybe designed to cheer me up as I get over not ending up with either the house or the project that I thought I would probably get at this time last week. Because, yes, that happens. Or maybe a distraction from the falling value of my little retirement account. Wish I had thought to move some things around last fall...but where I might have put it, well, I just don't know.

I'm trying to maintain my educated Pollyanna "power of positive thinking" status here, but it has definitely not been my favorite week. Centeredness, all around, please. OK...it's going out... time to stoke.

bargain shoparama

2008-09-26T17:54:00.004-04:00

Almost forgot. I went shopping again and bought stuff for my kitchen without any trace of meltdown. It really helped that I had company this time. Here are the new wine glasses I bought at a ridiculously cheap price because they had no tag on them. (The other ones are going back.) The stylish ridges are designed for oxidation... not sure if that actually works, but they do look cool. Also managed to snag some decent baking pans and some other practical items...

baking, pitching and singing, oh my

2008-09-26T17:44:00.003-04:00

Today I am feeling like myself again. Although I am going to a party later that is not a debate party. (Can't believe I just said that out loud.)

I spent the morning on work stuff, including pitching a new project to a local client. Client part went well. Agency part is bogged down in budget, but hopefully we will make it work.

I spent the afternoon on tasks and felt that comfortable "things are getting taken care of" feeling I like so much (hiring someone to help me was a brilliant plan). Now I'm rocking out to some old CDs... and baking. I'm attempting to make pretzels for Oktoberfest... the test batch yeast looked sketchy. So I now have 2 batches rising. And a bit of flour here and there to clean up.

As Michele likes to say... the waiting IS the hardest part. (That's what I'm listening to, actually).

in the nick of time

2008-09-26T17:31:00.003-04:00

My Massachusetts plates will expire midweek.

There's nothing like leaving things til the last minute, but on Thursday, I finally secured new Oregon tags, registration, title, insurance... and a driver's license. After actually failing the 2 online practice tests, I was a bit concerned about this part. I am still getting used to the idea that people here use those WALK / DON'T WALK signs for crossing rather than as interesting photo subjects.

But I got a 97. An A. And the only hold up of the morning was the brief debate with the attendant about the color of my hair. (Really, what kind of man debates a woman on the color of her hair?) I guess this makes it official.

I am here. Now.

However, I can't seem to get the front plate onto the Jeep after a few tries. It's never worn a front plate before. So, I am not *technically* fully legal. But close enough. At least I will not be running from the law next week. Who has the energy for that?

media steps up

2008-09-24T19:53:00.005-04:00

And now for a small political news interruption. Frank Rich finally writes the column I've been waiting for. And Maureen Dowd makes me nostalgic for the days of my favorite fictional president. Whatever happened to West Wing, anyway?

ok, done whining

2008-09-17T19:23:00.004-04:00

Here's a random photo I took recently... well... when the cherries were still on the tree out back. Now, though, I am picking pears. Fruitful.

my own personal mythology

2008-09-14T15:20:00.004-04:00

I have this idea that I used to be a pretty organized person. I mean, I did have a personal file system. I did have a tidy home office and a pretty tidy home, too. Once upon a time, I even worked in a tidy at-work office, too. (My friends at the EcoTarium know that this was NOT my museum office I refer to.)

I also recall that all the little logistical details and to-do's of life always got handled easily enough. And usually by me. Not procrastinated. They were not overwhelming. They were just, well, things that got done.

So, this is how I envision it. And I'm finding myself arguing with reality lately when...well, that is not how it is right now.

Instead, it is taking me months to get my car registered and license transferred (though I expect that will be done next week, once my title arrives from the East Coast, where I hadn't realized I'd left it.). Getting simple letters merged and printed takes me a month? An e-newsletter has been on my plate since February? I've been looking for a new place to live all summer... still on the search.

In other words, seemingly simple tasks drag on a bit. And I'd prefer they just get done without me. I feel like I need a vacation.

Without a proper closet, my clothes are hard to find when I want them. Because they're hard to put away in the first place. Filing is piling up, and I don't understand the so-called system I started to create.

And then there is Macy's.

Attempting to use a gift card at the Macy's sale this weekend turned into complete overwhelm at the sight of all the things I don't own anymore. I had imagined this could be fun-- having the chance to pick new things. But it wasn't. So I put it off for 18 months and mostly only bought the bare necessities. It's still not fun. Each time I go, it feels just like that first week when I had to buy a toothbrush and shoes to put on my feet.

Outfitting my eventual kitchen seems like climbing a mountain. And I am still at base camp with my purchases of a french press and skillets, red wine glasses and a corkscrew. So, when I move, I will be able to make coffee, make scrambled eggs and stir fries and drink wine.

That may actually hold me for a while (while I work on the mind shift).

And all the while, life continues. So much good unfolding. So many things that I am so grateful for right now. So much that I am glad I've had the courage to do, even without knowing how the story unfolds.

Maybe, once in a while, I just need someone to hold my hand and remind me that yes, everything is going to be fine? Next time, I am taking that person shopping (and maybe I will hire them to go to the DMV, too).

more music. less philosophy

2008-09-10T13:11:00.003-04:00

Music is number-one on the list today. Building my library. Listening to music to inspire me to be productive on the work front (and making the tedious tasks zip right along). Even some live music (more marimba happy music) if I manage to be productive and get out of the house in time for lunch.

So I'm not making good on the philosophy thing. There's more of that too. Since I am striving to be all present moment after my extended time in nature... this seems like a good thought for the day:

Our future is a product of the way we live our lives in the present moment for even a small kernel of hope in the present is enough to lay the groundwork for us to see our dreams to fruition. Having a positive view and seeing the abundance that surrounds us fills our present not only with a sense of satisfaction but also with the joy that comes from being content with what we have. The future then becomes an extension of where we are right now instead of something separate from us. By recognizing the treasures that are present in your life of today, you set the path for creating even greater bounty for your dreams of tomorrow. (from my inbox... daily om).

What's the best thing in your inbox today?

seek not. enjoy more.

2008-09-08T23:39:00.002-04:00

Seek not to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought. - Matsuo Basho

I've had the pleasure of spending the past 2 weekends in great company. Enjoying quiet moments. Forests. Laughing a lot. And this, of course, is good. Not that I need to tell you that.

Today I was reminded by a friend that I CAN create what I envision. Because she is doing just fine at making it happen, and in fact is teaching it. In business and personally.

So, like Basho, I seek not the footsteps. But the results.

Oh, and if that isn't enough... finally someone is making a movie of all those ridiculous Sophie Kinsella novels (my travel audiobook guilty pleasure). Though from the trailers, have to say that they have made a huge casting error. Isla Fisher just is not at all Becky Bloomwood.

Perhaps I should reserve judgment until I see it. But right now, she is looking like the Sarah Palin of chick flicks.

weekend away

2008-09-08T00:10:00.003-04:00

Pictured: the scenery, Chica the dog, and the world's most unflattering photo of yours truly... (in defense, the electricity was out and there was no shower available... and I'd just hiked 4.5 miles.).Not pictured... the many bottles of wine, the great food and stellar company.

laborious clams

2008-09-03T11:55:00.006-04:00

New Englanders, you will be relieved to know that my shellfish-loving heart has not been won on the West Coast. Let's just say that cooking steamers is apparently NOT the culinary forte of Portlanders.

You see, I went to a clambake event this Labor Day. First off, it was at a wine bar and not in someone's backyard or a lobster shack or a community field, so that should have been my first clue. But I like this wine bar (though of course did not drink wine with my dinner but had a beer as one should do) and I have been talking about lobster & clams a lot and not eating them. So YES, sign me up!

But get this... our clams were served with hot water "to wash off sand". Yes. Hot water. We were warned about the sand because they flew them in along with the lobsters from Ipswich or Maine or somewhere like that and "that is how they are on the East Coast". Seriously. Sandy is just how clams are there and East Coasters are used to having to wash off their cooked steamers in hot water before eating them.

That is what they said. I did disagree and did defend our New England traditions as not being so ridiculous as for people to have to wash their own food at the table. I wonder what the Maine clammers above would think of that?

Can you guess the clams and mussels were NOT very good. The lobster was decent, though, and the rest was fine, too. Cole slaw was actually really tasty (and I am so picky about cole slaw). So the dinner was fun... but I'll take a New England bucket of steamers and a lobster roll any day of the week.

p.s. I caved and wore my first lobster bib ever... I figured, why not... that sweater is cashmere! It really doesn't need to smell like lobster or have butter drips down the front.

p.s. 2. The West Coast influence won out when I had cheese and port for dessert. But only because there was no strawberry shortcake option.

did you know it has been a year?

2008-09-03T11:42:00.004-04:00

I was going to say "what a difference a year makes," but since I wrote that in my 2007 holiday newsletter, I feel I probably need to come up with something more original now. Can't say that every year. And yet... somehow it feels true.

Though outwardly not as much has changed in the past 12 months as in the Tumultuous Twelve before that (or the period before that...). Getting my business off the ground is the biggest change. I'm still living in the same place, which I did not think would be the case (but the hunt is on for new digs). Oh, and officially, as of Monday, I now own 6 coffee mugs. Let the kitchen re-stocking begin.

(Now... only to find my own kitchen...)

Inwardly, those in the know (that would be the folks who hear me prattle on about my daily activities and mind chatter and obstacles on a regular basis-- you know who you are and I thank you for listening and wise counsel) have been telling me that, actually, a lot has changed. Internally, you know. Since I am a fan of progress and since they all say pretty much the same things, I'm going to choose to believe them.

"The greatest art is to sit and wait and let it come." Yogi Bhajan

a few more... potholes

2008-08-31T22:37:00.004-04:00

My eye is in the details these days... that would be the details of what I see. Not the technical details.

washington vs. vermont

2008-08-31T17:04:00.001-04:00

emma had it right

2008-08-29T18:24:00.002-04:00

In fine Emma Goldman-style, I watched Barack's speech last night at a street party fundraiser that involved a great live band and some spirited dancing along with the speech-watching. Even for those of us with no rhythm. Our little SE contingent ranged in age from 14 months to 55.

Change you can dance to. Count me in.

I'll take it

2008-08-29T18:04:00.002-04:00

Your September Forecast: 'It might as well rain until September.' That's how the old song goes and, in a funny way, it describes your experience of the last few months. It has been 'raining' on and off. You've become used to an uncomfortable emotional climate. Overpowering experiences have caused you to expect difficulty at almost every turn and you've come to the conclusion that there's probably no end in sight. You've armed yourself against the 'rain' psychologically and materially. You've created shelters of one kind or another. But now it is September. Jupiter is changing direction and so is your life. It's improving, as we speak. And it's about to get a whole lot better.

So... Biden was the better choice. And I am still looking for a decent place to live. Other than this, life is good. And if Cainer says it's about to get better, I believe him. After all, I used to be convinced that the man had my office bugged.

What's most funny is that soon, it really will be raining here. Liquid sunshine?

word is, I'm not on the shortlist

2008-08-20T15:00:00.004-04:00

Though I do think I would make a fine veep candidate. Let's see... I have a decent grasp of domestic policy priorities. I'm scandal free. Fairly plain vanilla so would not be distracting, though some might see me as too far left, I suppose.

I've written no questionable position papers for any law review. Don't have any questionable business dealings or skeletons in the closet. I am a good debater. Have definite opinions on the direction of foreign policy. In fact, I have definite opinions on a lot of things. Advising people is one of my specialties.

I don't aim for world domination. That would make me an asset on diplomatic missions, no?

I understand the problems of ordinary Americans. Even the ones I think are self-created and none of the government's concern.

Plus, I'm a woman and a lot of women over 50 tend to like me. Even the one I live with. Though I do take issue with their whole "It's the media sexism not Hillary's management that sunk her campaign" theory. And I think adding a plank in the platform to address this is just this side of ridiculous. But I'm willing to make nice and leave it in there.

Drawback is that both of my blue states are not really in play. So can't bring the swing states to the table.

Maybe if I had moved to West Virginia?

on the water

2008-08-17T12:00:00.002-04:00

This is a generic photo from the tour company, since I was not about to let my camera get as wet as I got (which, since I had to change in my Jeep after getting out of the boat, was pretty wet!).

Last night, I went on a full moon kayak tour on the Willamette River downtown Portland, around Ross Island. The round yellow moon was just gorgeous-- for the five minutes before it was obscured by clouds. Herons were spotted in the water and flying to their nest. Logs and river otters both popped up in front of my boat. Paddling in the dark towards the city lights was just fun, even when the wake of the boats zipping by triggered a moment of queasy seasickness.

I even recalled my basic paddling skills (Thanks Freesia!) enough to make the 2.5 to 3 hour paddle (including through some really shallow channels) a truly enjoyable experience and was able to keep up with the group just fine. Extra control tips from the experts at Portland Kayak did not hurt.

Can't believe it has taken me this long to get myself on the water here. So much fun.

blogging slacker

2008-08-08T01:58:00.003-04:00

So. Busy. Lately.

Busy procrastinating on things I "should be" doing.
Busy playing.
Busy hiking and yoga practicing.
Busy listening to the many amazing musicians appearing around Portland this summer, from international artists to guys on the street.
Busy working.
Busy trying to reel in new work by enacting my marketing efforts.
Busy looking for a place to live and not finding one.
Busy dancing (or trying to learn).
Busy sitting in the garden with a glass of wine.
Busy trying new wines and eating gourmet waffles for dinner. Or roasted vegetables.
Busy just sitting.
Busy investigating summer sun and grass between toes.
Busy planning a trip to the coast that never seems to happen.

Not busy taking photos. Need to get on that.

funny... or maybe not?

2008-07-26T14:48:00.002-04:00

gratitude, vol. 3

2008-07-23T12:25:00.004-04:00

There are a thousand excuses for every failure, but never a good reason. A quote from (I think?) Mark Twain. On the other hand, success is defined in individual ways. Feeling grateful for small successes today.

One, work is going pretty well.
Two, business is also going pretty well. And they are different.
Three, I did have pizza last night (and ate the whole thing, actually--see what happens when we are self-deprived of the things we love?).
Four, I'm feeling so much healthier... and it's summer.
Five, I am approved and ready to go looking for a new live/work space.
Six, the people in my life, near and far, are so amazing and supportive, all of them.
Seven, that I could make this a really long list if I wanted to... but I'm going to get back to my workday now.

tuesday is pizza day?

2008-07-22T21:29:00.007-04:00

I was inspired this weekend - seems so many people were talking about good pizza that I knew I was going to have to go get one soon enough. With the anti-inflammation diet I was on for a month, it has been too long. So tonight is pizza night for me. Have a bit of extra work to do (Did I mention how much I am loving working for me? I am finally learning how to be a decent manager now that I am managing myself.) and I'm going to try & watch the movie I started to watch on Saturday night before agreeing it was just too depressing.

Especially after a fun day of international beer and local pretzels. Who wants to be depressed with a war movie? I'm going to give it a shot before sending it back-- it's the principle of having rented it.

I don't think I found a favorite at the International Beer Festival this weekend, but I do have a list dark beer for the dark days of winter. Not that I plan to think about that anytime soon! Instead, I will be out listening to music in the park.

life is good

2008-07-17T12:35:00.002-04:00

OK, so I'm lately sleeping on a daybed in a sewing room and working at the kitchen counter or the dining table or outside in the garden or in the living room. All because my body is basically rebelling against being anywhere near my usual sleeping and working spaces. (I tried to sleep there 2 nights ago and had breathing problems, even after airing the place out for 24 hours prior.)

But even so, life is pretty good. Calm. Mostly grounded. A bit of fun. I've learned how to make sushi in the past couple of weeks. Elvis & Sting & co. were fun. I haven't gotten to kayak or canoe because of toxic algae blooms but have gotten out into the sun quite a bit. This morning, it's looking like rain and I walked to the coffee shop for my beans and a cup. Forgot to get decaf in the cup, though, so I may be bouncing off the walls a bit today.

Business continues to pick up. The work is going well. Bootcamp for business building is going well. And, in case I have not already mentioned, I've launched the "new" web site and business blog at www.artisancopy.com. Lots of other business-related projects are in the works as well. Starting with looking for a new place and a proper office that doesn't make me sick!

summer joy

2008-07-11T01:02:00.003-04:00

elvis is in the house

2008-07-04T15:57:00.004-04:00

Well, Elvis Costello, that is. And I think he is actually outdoors. (You may remember my earlier mention of Elvis?) Anyway, most folks know I'm a fan from way back. But you don't know that I'll be seeing him live next week. In fact, I didn't even know this until last night myself. He's opening for the Police... how did that happen?

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was offered a ticket to see the Police somewhere around here, and I happen to learn last night that I get to see Elvis, too. That's better than Sting in my book. Looking forward.

can't believe I didn't mention...

2008-07-03T01:01:00.004-04:00

...that Portland has been having the most wonderful heat wave. Complete with sun and temperatures that hit 97 degrees over the weekend. I was at a wedding again-- a fabulously inventive and moving ceremony modeled after ancient Greek traditions-- with sweat running down the back of my sundress about an hour in. Which was OK by me.

Today, it is back to around mid-80s and was even a bit hazy. I am enjoying it while I can. Especially since it's calling for, yes, rain on Friday.

stopping to shoot the roses

2008-07-02T23:36:00.007-04:00

From my recent morning visit to the Rose Garden.
I made plenty of time to stop and smell the fragrance as well to enjoy conversation with my fellow shooters. In other words (those of Rumi) "Let the beauty that we love be what we do. There are thousand of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."

photos synthesized

2008-06-26T12:18:00.008-04:00

"Using a camera appeases the anxiety which the work-driven feel about not working when they are on vacation and supposed to be having fun. They have something to do that is like a friendly imitation of work: They can take pictures." - Susan Sontag

This made me laugh. I've always seen taking photos as creative seeing, creative expression, even fun. But I think it is also like this. Maybe this is why I barely took any on my last vacation? Anyway... I'm taking some this weekend. Maybe even sooner. Stay tuned.

(This one is old. It's Alberta St. where I am headed this evening.)

p.s.

2008-06-21T22:20:00.003-04:00

Before anyone else asks me, the answer is No. The second dress still did not fit.

And I don't think it's all me. Every other dress in my closet is a size 2. And J. Crew apparently makes dresses for women without breasts. Even the size 4 petite was a no-go. So... lucky for me I had an Ann Taylor backup that I ran into unexpectedly, on sale, two days before I left town.

Go ahead. Try and tell me someone isn't looking out for me. It was also a size 2.

still working on data

2008-06-21T22:10:00.002-04:00

Did I mention that Global Soul, one of the Putamayo mixes, is the best CD to do accounting by? OK. Admit that some dancing has taken place on the way to and from changing from the Beach Boys.

The "Get Your Accounts in Order and Take Care of Business" mix is Amy Winehouse, Global Soul, Michel Camilio (Spain), and my housemate's Beach Boys CD that is already in the player.

Those lucky few who were present at my only Holden dinner party will remember Global Soul... or at least the song I forced them all to listen to (the one with guest vocals by Neneh Cherry). Yes. I remember. It's one of my favorites.

Singing along right about NOW.

where to begin?

2008-06-21T19:17:00.002-04:00

Yes, I went on vacation. Yes, it was fun. And yes, I took a computer/Internet hiatus for the most part. It wasn't even hard to do.

I really enjoyed spending relaxed time with my family and friends. I forgot to take photos for the most part. The 6 I did take are still in the camera. They are mostly of Aiden.

Allison, if you're reading, I loved the wedding. Aquinnah was lovely. The guests were great to hang with. I was actually tuckered out from all that dancing and yoga. And the joy in the air was so palpable. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with such amazing happy energy.

And yes, I came home to plenty of work on my desk. Which is great, and the measure of things to come, to continue. I had plenty keeping me busy all week, have a lot on my plate and have the worst case of brain fog I've had in ages. I slept in the basement and the mysterious cold symptoms started to return. Guess where I'm not sleeping tonight.

Now I'm feeling a bit worn out, on overload and needing rest. I cancelled my plans to go to a fun party this evening and am instead staying in. Getting organized a bit. Relaxing. This, courtesy of the guy at Trader Joe's who actually read my mind. He said: Any good plans this evening? I said: I'm going to a dinner party. He promptly made an excellent case for staying home instead. Kick back and relax. Which was exactly what I was thinking as I walked through the door.

I really want some quiet downtime, so I saw this as The Sign (which probably means I could turn down the CD player, but I get to play it so infrequently). I came back, made a call and took a nap. Now I'm onto exciting things like paying lab bills and reconciling bank statements ... which, hey, needs to get done sometime.

here comes the sun

2008-06-06T20:55:00.002-04:00

I did see it for about 10 minutes today.

But I'm talking about getting on a plane headed east where the meteorologists tell me it will be 90 degrees. This time tomorrow, I will be warm. (OK, technically I will be on a United flight, but I am willing to bet it will be warmer on the plane than it is here right now).

Here, it may well be a soggy Rose Parade tomorrow and there is snow in the Cascades and most of the city seems dismayed at the "wettest spring on record". The news is broadcasting stories like "What's it like to ski in June?" I am drinking cold coffee.

Today it was chilly. I turned the heat back on. At acupuncture, my cold feet and ridiculously stiff back muscles were under heat lamps. My body really rebels against cold & damp.

At any rate, my work is done. Suitcase is mostly packed. Dress for the wedding is re-ordered in the new & improved (bigger) size. Evening plans involving going out of the house again have been cancelled.

And I am finally sitting down wishing I had had the foresight to pick up a bottle of wine. Because watching political talk shows is more fun with a glass of wine... and that is my plan for the rest of the evening.

joyful music weekly roundup

2008-06-01T14:24:00.003-04:00

Past week seems to have brought the cold along and OUT. Which is good. Now... just figuring out what is blocking my sinuses and giving me headaches. I spent the whole day out yesterday since it was SUNNY ... and so I know now that it's not necessarily IN the house. Though have abandoned my bed to sleep in the sewing/guest room for a bit, just to see. This thing is no fun. Now I understand why other people complain of "allergy season." All becoming clear.

Enjoyed some beautiful kirtan with Darcy midweek. We went to hear Snatam Kaur on her Celebrate Peace tour. It was a later night than expected, but so relaxing and lovely. What a beautiful, peaceful voice. And all the joyous singing in that room! Definitely the best part of the week.

Rest of the week involved doing good work and waiting for the sun. Working with my bootcamp group on business. Saw Sex & the City with a bunch of girls. Wore green shoes (flat) and managed to trip over the velvet rope in the lounge upon arrival, making a nice fat bruise on my leg. Graceful, as always.

Rode the Aerial Tram so now can say I have been there, done that. And I fell just short of queasy when getting off this very short ride... which actually serves the purpose of connecting hospital campuses. Heard some acoustic music last night. Stopped to smell the roses, which are blooming everywhere. It is officially Rose Festival Week.

wildflowers (or the scene of one bizarre allergy attack)

2008-05-28T15:09:00.001-04:00

success is unlearning?

2008-05-28T15:03:00.002-04:00

"Success is not about driving yourself harder; it is about letting go of what blocks your heart," writes Robert Holden in a new book which I have not read.

I've been reading a lot lately about procrastination. How we do it and why. And I definitely do it ... but am also going to be doing less of it.

What Holden is saying applies there, too.

more van

2008-05-26T23:08:00.003-04:00

Today, I got into the car to hear a whole six-song series of old Van Morrison.
Somehow that was perfect for the rainy weather.

Hope it don't rain all day...

sleepy, with cheesecake

2008-05-26T22:46:00.003-04:00

I've been thoroughly, officially Tired lately. My body seems to be in rebellion mode. One cold after another. Bronchial stuff. Sleep schedules not the usual. Wacky dreams waking me up. Energy levels and routines not my usual. Serious allergy symptoms on my wildflower hike last weekend. Yoga even takes it out of me lately (and it's showing!).

So I am trying to rest. Doing acupuncture. Taking the supplements. Letting myself sleep in.

The acupuncturist suggests adrenals are out of balance. Which means sticking to my regular diet, getting loads of rest, NO caffeine (OK by me--I usually do decaf these days anyway), getting the adrenals and thyroid checked (latter is due anyway)... big relaxation, regular and moderate exercise. Cut back on sugar, white flours and alcohol (only wine these days, so I will cut back). I'm now taking some Chinese herbs in addition to the immune boosting herbs (which are helping).

Yes. I broke down and made an MD appointment, too. They just take longer to see you.

But before that, I had cheesecake. Total about one slice, but from 5 cheesecakes that were simply amazing. Mexican cheesecake with taco seasonings and veggies. Salmon and dill cheesecake. Italian cheesecake with olives, artichokes, garlic, and spices. Chocolate raspberry cheesecake. Lemon cheesecake with tropical fruits on top.

All were made by an acquaintance, Teri, who had a wine-cheesecake tasting party this weekend. Tasty and fun. To top it off, there was an unusual severe thunderstorm here during the party. I've missed those.

a kayak would have been great

2008-05-19T00:52:00.002-04:00

So I finally made it to an Obama rally, and wouldn't you know it, it's the largest one ever.

It took a few hours and a lot of walking to get myself from the house to Waterfront Park and back. I met a few interesting folks in line.

While it was mainly the stump speech and while I couldn't see much from my vantage point because I didn't leave the house until 11 a.m., the effort was worth it. I could hear very well. And the energy at the park and all over downtown Portland was pretty amazing to experience.

As reported by MSNBC: Here's the dispatch from NBC/NJ's Athena Jones... Some 75,000 people flocked to Portland’s waterfront Sunday to watch Barack Obama speak, making it the biggest rally the campaign has held to date. Thousands stood on the lawn, dozens watched from boats and from the bridge stretching across the Willamette River. A few kayakers held their paddles and tried to keep their kayaks straight as they watched the candidate, who stood on a makeshift platform.

Read all about it in the Chicago Tribune (which did a better job covering than The Oregonian).

just thinking

2008-05-05T14:21:00.002-04:00

Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when that fog horn blows I want to hear it
I don't have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic...

whirlwind (or lazy Sunday)

2008-05-04T15:36:00.003-04:00

Oh my, am I tired.

I have been fighting this weird insomnia (and a weird rash as well, but no one wants to hear about that) ... plus traveling to Charlotte this week for a quick business trip (jet lag made it worse) ... and then a meeting here to prepare for on Friday and then my class on Saturday. Which meant 2 projects to finish on Friday. Still more homework to complete this week. I am calling it "creative on command". It's been fun, but I am out of practice with the homework thing!

Last night, I had the brilliant idea to go to a wine party out of town. Which went quite late and with lots of wine and even more food. And now I am dead tired ... I thought I was tired yesterday? My body amazes me with its ability to be walking around.

And it's beautifully sunny and I was planning to go on a long but easy hike today. It seems wrong to stay in. But judging by the fact that I am still in PJs at 12:39, not sure I will make it cross town by 1 to do that. Tomorrow night, I have symphony tickets.

Think I'm headed back to sleep instead. Yoga. Lunch in the garden. No heavy lifting.

all quiet on the engine front

2008-04-26T21:56:00.002-04:00

As mysteriously as it came on, the engine light went out yesterday on the way to Trader Joe's.

I checked all the fluids and some were low. I topped them off. And dribbled a bit of oil into the brake fluid, which I'm hoping presents no concerns. But the light was on all week long.

Until one day, it wasn't.

Very excited about its disappearance. After all, the Wrangler is behaving just fine. As it should be.

earth day. new leaf.

2008-04-20T23:38:00.004-04:00

Don't these cards have great energy?

I took the photo a few years back at the EcoTarium's Earth Day Festival. And right now, since I spent the day immersed in art books and visual journals, and since it's Earth Day time again, well, here it shows up.

I think it's time for more art, less chat in this space. More energy. So I'll be making a few changes. Time to get substantive. Before I put myself to sleep.

centennial

2008-04-20T23:25:00.003-04:00

It's official.

As I was driving to meet a client yesterday, my Wrangler hit 100,000 miles.

The big moment came on Hawthorne Boulevard, right around SE 23rd. Turn the Page was on the radio, but I switched channels. Then it was Cornflake Girl and a strange cover of Rich Girl.

I smiled at my nice Jeep, thinking how grateful I am that it has served me so well, got me clear across the country, generally behaves well. (I was going to post the photo from the first day I drove it... well, OK, Freesia drove it since my arm was in a cast. But I never scanned it.)

The very next morning, the engine light came on.

tourist out of shape

2008-04-13T14:40:00.006-04:00

Before: Finally made it over to Multnomah Falls, along with hordes of other folks on the best weather day (so far) of the year. The plan was to hike, but since all the trails were quite well traveled, my hiking companion Dan decided to show me the area's best-known visitor attraction... since we were driving right by.

Walking to the top seemed easy enough at the time.

After: Proof I made it to the top of the falls...which should have been easy and was not. I really need to get into hiking shape...

through the hail... spring!

2008-04-13T14:33:00.005-04:00

Another beautiful sunny day (rain is due back on Monday) and I have finally unloaded last month's photos of the first blooms from my camera. I took these on the same day it hailed. And then it hailed off & on for three days. It's looking much prettier now. And no more hail in sight.

overheard in downward dog

2008-04-11T00:25:00.006-04:00

Yoga is not about the perfect pose.
There is too much of that in the world already.
Yoga is about inner energy.

slackerdom

2008-04-11T00:11:00.003-04:00

I have no good excuse for not posting lately, though a few people have asked me what it is.

I'm not all that busy. Just living up to my part of the old GenX label I guess. Listening to Nouvelle Vague and old Beck tunes while drinking my green tea and decaf (and even working). Oh wait, that is so 1990s. We're all working like crazy people now, right?

Seriously, I've been in this argument with myself over how much I am accomplishing and producing and whether I should speed up or enjoy being slowed down. Kind of ridiculous, really. Especially, as it was pointed out to me this week that I am, after all, in Portland. This is not exactly NYC. And I did slow down on purpose. I did ask for some balance. Still working on that part.

I've been reading a few interesting books lately. Currently, it's The Great Failure by Natalie Goldberg. Which is not her new one. And I know that a couple of people (you know who you are) will be happy to hear that I even picked up her old writing practice books a few weeks back. And read a couple of old poems to my roommate. Haven't written anything I don't get paid to write in a very, very long time. But who knows. I might.

I have been writing a lot when it comes to work, though. Which is promising for business in 2008. And I'm taking a seminar on strategic communication & branding starting next week. Not a moment too soon, either. Wait, you'll see.

13,000 people and I'm not one of them

2008-03-21T15:35:00.002-04:00

So 13,000 people heard Barack Obama speak this morning in Portland. And I was not one of them. This is what happens when you choose not to sign up for emails from the campaign because who really needs more email (especially when you read as much news as I tend to do). So by the time it was announced, there was no getting near the tickets. I tried. Signed up on the wait list. Even signed up to volunteer at the event. But they didn't need me.

This morning-- 9:02 a.m. -- I got the wait list email telling me seats may become available so come on down. This was while I was drinking coffee in my PJs and answering work emails. Not likely I would get there before 9:30 at that point.

According to the paper, he snuck into town last fall completely under my radar. That was when I was looking for housing, so I was otherwise occupied.

Apparently, there was a huge response to the rally here because a staffer sent out a plea last night for people to please stop calling the organizer. And that was for the volunteers. I talked to her and she said they were just bombarded.

People want to see this guy.

Maybe next time.

everything is blooming most recklessly

2008-03-11T00:33:00.004-04:00

Apologies to those who have been waging the snow battle, but it's been a pretty mild winter and now 60 & sunny for more than a week (until today when it was 60 & cloudy) and I am soaking it up. I always knew that daffodils were supposed to be in bloom for my birthday. I took some photos of the ones out in the front garden (along with the primroses and the snowdrops), but then my battery "exhausted" and I seem to have misplaced the other 2 sets of spares... waiting to recharge these.

On Saturday, I went for a hike with Laura in the Columbia Gorge and have the above photographic evidence that the trillium are in bloom. Very exciting. Equally so was the chance to stand under a powerful waterfall and not really get lost on the unmarked trail.

More of this to come. Especially since I seem to be on an all-carb diet this week... in other words, I will NEED more of this.

my birthday adventure in oceanside

2008-03-03T22:20:00.003-05:00

some things I want to learn

2008-03-01T13:54:00.003-05:00

I've long maintained that I have just enough technological knowledge to be dangerous. And there are a few things that I really want to learn how to do quickly & easily. So if you have any resources in mind (or can just tell me how), let me know. Here's the top 5:

How to properly run my iPod (is it just me or is it near impossible to select what you want to listen to on these things?)
How to download music and rip CDs so that the music 1. goes where I want it to go and 2. doesn't vanish from my iTunes or music folders in mysterious ways
Create macros in and customize Word for faster editing (just got a book on this one)
Really understand and get proficient in Photoshop Elements
To use Outlook Business Contacts and/or Quicken Business (which I have & don't use) to streamline client billing & contacts

overheard at Peet's

2008-03-01T12:52:00.007-05:00

So, yesterday, I'm sitting at my new favorite work spot in the neighborhood, Peet's (where they play quiet classical music, have decent coffee, and outlets to plug in the laptop and where the fence in the photo is a block or two away). And I overhear what I think is a pretty good testimonial.

One guy is selling another on a colleague: The guy is a rock star, he says. He is so excited to hear that this gentleman is going to work with him. He assures him that he will be completely taken care of. He will love the results.

It made me giggle... that this is what businessmen are reduced to these days, calling each other rock stars. (Quick, somebody get the man a thesaurus!) But since, I'm sitting there writing posts for my new site, I'm also thinking this is what I want my clients to be saying sometime soon. In whatever language and whatever coffee shop they choose.

The new site is coming soon. Stay tuned, so you can help promote me to all your friends and colleagues. :-)

shameless materialism and cheap (girly) thrills

2008-02-29T16:12:00.003-05:00

This week, I channeled my inner girl and played dress-up at a Naked Lady party... fun way of saying "let's eat, drink & swap clothes". And I am now carrying a cute Gucci purse. In hot pink. Well, not right this minute. This minute I'm wearing a t-shirt & jeans and fleece... so that wouldn't quite go.

But I brought a bag & a half of clothes there, none of which fit me too well. And I came back with 2 bags of cute things that do work for me. Mostly casual clothes, yoga clothes -- the stuff I live in. Though also a summer dress and 2 bags and 3 pairs of sandals. All free. Which fits my budget nicely.

All the not-for-me stuff has gone to people who will wear it. And the rest gone to charitable organizations who will put it to good use.

Bill for Obama

2008-02-29T16:06:00.002-05:00

Now that I'm a card-carrying Democrat, I've been getting myself up to speed with our friends at DailyKos. Today, they reminded me of this chestnut, spoken by Bill Clinton during the last presidential election:

Now, one of Clinton's laws of politics is this. If one candidate is trying to scare you and the other one is try get you to think, if one candidate is appealing to your fears and the other one is appealing to your hopes, you better vote for the person who wants you to think and hope.

I agree. But I guess they forgot this "law" when planning Hillary's campaign...

present moment time

2008-02-25T18:01:00.002-05:00

A message I ran into today when reading my horoscope for fun (and checking a bit into the non-astronomical side of those eclipses). Further proof that the teacher appears when one is listening... in weird places.

Pat yourself on the back, and after you've done that, take a break. You've been magnificent, marvellous and wonderful, under the most trying of circumstances. The only thing you really need to be honest with yourself about is if you have also been PRESENT. Ie: not just going through life on auto-pilot, as a way of coping with the seemingly endless challenges. Auto-pilot might seem like a good idea and sometimes is even inevitable. But long-term it's not the best solution. For one thing, it takes you out of your heart space...

I also got 2 emails related to being present yesterday. It's been a theme for me lately. And one I can use some help in, like most people. So it's not surprising to find this sentiment lurking around waiting to find me.

lunar-cy

2008-02-21T14:39:00.003-05:00

After working pretty much non-stop on a rush project this week (which made me re-think how I approach some of these projects, but that's a whole other post), I ran out to see the moon disappear last night.

Three times, between editing, cooking dinner and having a glass of wine. Standing in the street with neighbors. Or on the back deck craning to see between trees. Didn't get any good photos, so I borrowed this one.

I love stargazing events. And I like them even more when they don't mean waking myself up in the middle of the night. Or when they don't show up unexpected like meteors shooting out of nowhere (and I miss them entirely).

OK, it's almost noon. Time to finish my coffee, get some exercise and await the next round of work. And to see if its true that eclipses bring change.

love is all around

2008-02-13T15:42:00.004-05:00

The other night I didn't sleep much. And at 4 a.m., I found myself thinking about how lucky I am to have people in my life who know how to say the things that just stick with you.

Case in point: Back when I was going through a very difficult time, a friend (you know who you are) said to me something that has just stayed with me, long after the difficulty had eased. And at 4 a.m., this is what popped into my head. He said, "remember that you are surrounded by love right now, even when you can't feel it." And he was right on both counts.

I was reminded of this recently by a project taken on by one of the members of a focus group in which I am playing these days. He decided to make it a point to express (written) gratitude to someone every day for a month.

The details of these little appreciations have leaked into my days and so I decided to share one of mine right here. Because that thing about love, well, it was true. And I have never forgotten it. I've had the chance to pass it on, too.

It's also true that sometimes we hear the most important things from the most unexpected places. And sometimes we take far too long to say thanks.

time gets away from me

2008-02-13T15:22:00.004-05:00

Well, I'm being really good to my immune system this week. Emergen-C drinks and lots of nutritious foods. I'm actually taking my vitamins instead of letting them look all important in their containers. And yesterday I ordered green tea while working at the cafe. Seriously. Green tea instead of coffee.

I'm not taking any chances here.

I've been working hard to catch up from my few days off and of course watching/reading way too much political coverage. And the next thing I know, it's a brand new week.

Lots going on here. I have a new and unexpected housemate, which is a challenge. Mostly to figure out where I am heading next so that I can start that process. I really miss having spaces all to myself.

I celebrated The Year of the Rat last weekend. The lion dance was particularly interesting to me. This tradition dates back to the 3rd century. The lions symbolize joy and happiness. More of that, please!

Speaking of time passing, I've just finished the first arduous pass on a developmental editing project and pulled out a CD to listen to while I write and check the news: The Best of Elvis Costello.

Yes, I know I just aged myself. Too bad. I could listen to that CD for hours. In fact, I actually have done that on occasion. It makes me smile.

kind of fun

2008-02-07T22:55:00.000-05:00

I found the link to this while visiting Pattie's art.

What Sally Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

something to talk about

2008-02-07T00:08:00.000-05:00

From today's New York Times...

Mr. Obama raised $3 million on Wednesday (today) in online contributions, according to fund-raisers and campaign officials, one of the largest sums of the campaign. Last month alone, the Obama camp raised $27 million online.

In contrast, Hill is pulling a Mitt Romney and loaning herself the cash.

Very interesting.

Also interesting to me... Oregon's primary is in MAY?! Well, that makes one think twice about moving here.

i like London in the rain

2008-02-06T23:51:00.000-05:00

While researchers in London are infecting mice with the "common cold," I'm here in an equally rainy climate wondering why anyone would do that to poor innocent mice. And it occurred to me that I haven't had a cold this bad since I was in London myself. Maybe it's all the rain?

That was a really long time ago. And my immune system is usually on top of these things.

Upside is that I feel pretty good today, if we're talking about a comparison between Friday or Monday and today. So tomorrow will be the tell. Because I also felt really good on Sunday (good enough to attend my first Superbowl party in many years) and woke up worse for wear on Monday. Worse for wear is putting it really mildly. My neighbor reports the exact same experience.

Maybe it's the neighborhood?

But enough. Today I am recovering. Thanks to my vitamins and herbal teas and rest and lots of good food.

promoting global communities

2008-02-03T00:03:00.001-05:00

Went to REI to see an interesting film the other day. The filmmaker was speaking. It was not the most well-crafted film by any stretch of the imagination... but the story is pretty remarkable.

Lance Trumbull, who now lives here in Portland, decided to put together a climbing team to summit Everest. His goal was to see what happens when climbers of different cultures and different religions took on this potentially life-changing ordeal together. What he ended up with ran 63 minutes and could easily have been twice as long.

The most interesting tidbit came from Trumbull himself-- and was not included in the film. He described an afternoon where the climbers had a roundtable discussion amonst themselves about the perceived differences and grievances between nations. They wondered: what would happen if we put our country's leaders on a mission to climb Everest together. What would they learn then?

The film is available on DVD online. They're aiming for a distribution deal with National Geographic or Discovery or one of those cable channels I don't have access to right now. See it if you have the chance. (And the scenery is breathtaking.)

the search continues

2008-02-02T23:47:00.000-05:00

... for a place to meditate once in a while.

Two weeks ago, my intrepid friend Laura and I visited a zen center in the neighborhood. I'd forgotten how formal those places can be, even casual ones like this. It was Laura's first time. The place seemed to have no heat, but the all-darkly-clad people were very, very pleasant. We'd kinda thought we could sneak in and out unnoticed; we're not looking to join anything. But... not so easy. We stayed for a slide show on Sri Lanka's ancient sites.

Last week, I went to an ashram where my meetin friend Vicki is a member. There was well-regulated heat. There were some really good cookies. No one was wearing black. It was very informal. Pretty much the opposite vibe. Very bright and spacious. Lots of orange, the color of regeneration? No chanting, no discussion of any religious traditions and much discussion of the opposite: the individual spiritual path. Meditation was guided.

So far, nothing fits well. Yet all are good.

i saw snow today

2008-02-02T23:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true. I woke up this morning (I use that word loosely as it was already 9:30 a.m.) to snowflakes outside my window. And once upstairs, Susan confirmed: it's SNOWING! Apparently, in the west hills, this continued, but by the time I had made tea, it switched to cold rain.

Since my plan was to stay in and let myself recover from the cold I've got, I made a miserable attempt at building a fire. Can someone answer me this: why is it that when you don't want things to catch fire, they do (and well and fully), yet on a cold day when you are trying to make a fire in a special little box made for that purpose, nothing wants to catch? I had trouble getting The Oregonian to catch fire. After 3 miserable attempts by me and one by Susan, we kind of gave up. Instead, I watched a movie on the laptop and read a bit. Did some investigating for my new biz blog and then caught up on some work that I didn't finish when I took half of Thursday and all of Friday off as "need to get well" days.

a quiet African Sunday

2008-01-28T00:11:00.001-05:00

First of all, it didn't rain.

And then... a Sunday of fine chocolate and African dance music... not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

Today, I joined some meetin friends for a tasty educational trip through chocolate-making at an international chocolate shop downtown. And you thought I was passionate about dark chocolate? Cacao offers artisan chocolate from the France to Chicago to the Ivory Coast (did you know the Ivory Coast produces more chocolate than any other place in the world?). I smelled chocolate perfumes, investigated cacao beans, tried a 100% cacao bar, and tasted several dark chocolates with chiles plus a drinking chocolate with cayenne, paprika, ginger, coconut milk and lots of other interesting ingredients.

Verdict is: luxurious and tasty!

After this, we headed around the corner to see Boka Marimba, a high-energy Zimbabwe marimba band that was playing at a free show. How anyone can not dance when listening to that music is beyond anything I understand (and dancing is not exactly my forte).

It was fabulous... and the 4-year-old dancing next to me was the perfect example of joyousness.

A very relaxing Sunday... in preparation for the work week ahead!

I think he's convinced me

2008-01-27T23:57:00.000-05:00

I'm voting for Obama.

The mind is made up. And I decided before Teddy and Caroline Kennedy did, but I don't think that my grandma, were she here to talk it over with, would be surprised that we're on the same page.

Hillary Clinton has all the right stuff and the NYT makes an exellent case for her candidacy (in fact, they make a better case than she's been able to make). But her campaign is quickly losing my respect. And I think it's a huge mistake to underestimate the importance of the respect of your voters. Obama gets that. His South Carolina victory speech was the best thing he's said in a year.

Oh, and if you are reading this, Tom... I registered this year as a Democrat. Just to see what that feels like.

morning has broken

2008-01-23T18:05:00.000-05:00

This month, I've been playing with getting up earlier and spending some time with myself. It's working pretty nicely, even with all the weird sleep challenges I've been having. And so, this re-cap came in from the fun Zen Habits blog today. Part of an article on the benefits of waking early:

"I’m inspired by the Dalai Lama, who said, Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.' "

Pretty good way to start the day. Kind of a lot to remember that early in the morning, but I may have to try it.

bye bye blondie

2008-01-16T22:34:00.000-05:00

Well, OK, not quite. Yesterday, Paul from Australia coaxed me back into a more, shall we say, "moderate shade" of haircolor. (I once had a friend who liked to describe looks by celebrity. He'd call this moving from Reece-blonde to Aniston highlights.) Paul's solution to my dilemma of hair styling costing far more here in Bridgetown than I was used to paying back east was adding pigment. You see, while there is something very appealing about the idea of kicking back in a chair and reading about cosmetics while someone makes you look stunning... well, I just keep thinking that money could be invested or something. The Suze Orman book I read at the Barnes & Noble cafe is somewhat to blame here. And I'm supposed to be bootstrapping, right? Right.

So on a whim, I stopped to meet Paul, after having parked in front of his salon all day. And after a lengthy discussion of options that will keep me out of the salon for a while... he whisked me into a chair and here I am. He was positively gleeful with the result. I am still trying to recognize myself in the mirror.

yikes, it's mid-January!

2008-01-15T23:56:00.000-05:00

And I'm making fabulous progress on a few goals already. Namely, my new web site and marketing plan and establishing a morning routine that gets me up and at 'em early. Like I used to do. It's giving me some routine... and definitely upping the energy level a bit. There is something about meditating in the morning that just sets a good tone for the day.

I've had the opportunity for a lot of support around some of my big goals, including finding out what happens when a group of people, each with a focused intent, get together to report in and encourage each other for 30 days. The month is halfway through now. And not only am I required to report when I sleep in... I'm learning about dreaming, getting inspired to organize, receiving daily reminders to love and appreciate myself and others, receiving the energy of other people's momentum, talking daily with focused people committed to goals... oh, it's a long list. Fun.

My goal support is also coming by way of the pros, by way of books that find me in the bookstore, by way of long conversations with friends. I'm assuming that my erratic sleep and wild dreams lately are also telling me something... but haven't decoded that one yet.

Funny how help is always surrounding you when you need it. As long as you can see that.